The Mommy Wars
Recently I contributed two articles to the Real Agenda on Canada.com. The Real Agenda featured a number of Canadian writers focusing on the topics they wanted addressed by the campaign leaders for our current election.
Let me tell you I was beaten, bullied and dragged through the mud but I kept going back for more. I have never written for a political website before, nor have I contributed to a site that allows anonymous commenting. Something about a secret identity gives people the confidence to tell you what they really think.
The Taboo Topic
My first article was about child-care funding programs in Canada and through the comments left in response, I learned something I wish I hadn’t. There is such a thing called Mommy Wars and they’re brutal and judgemental.
Basically Mommy Wars are heated debates that take place on web forums, chat rooms, real life, you name it and they get pretty mean. I’ve heard before that moms can get quite opinionated on topics concerning the care of their children but I had no idea to what extent. Some of the most flammable topics in the Mommy Wars are breastfeeding, organic feeding and working vs. stay-at-home moms.
You Be the Judge
In my opinion, the choice a woman makes is obviously the best one for her and her family. How can that be judged? Everyone has their own reasons for the choices they make and we may not always know these explanations.
I want to be careful not to add fuel to the Mommy War fires but I also want a chance to speak out against them. I really look up to women who choose to stay home with their children. I think it can be a huge sacrifice and a lot of work. It’s hard to spend all day with people who are bossy, demanding, self-centred and emotionally unstable, as all children are at some point.
Then on the other hand I also admire moms who work fulltime. As a nine to fiver myself, I know the struggle with finding time to do it all. There’s the day job at the office and the evening job at home and that laundry sure isn’t going to wash itself.
The Most Difficult Job in the World
My point is that parenting is the most difficult job in the world and there’s more than one way to do it right so why does that have to turn into a war? I witnessed a variety of comments ranging from statements that stay-at-home moms are lazy to moms who to choose to work outside the home are neglecting their children. Both are extremist views and generalizations and hold no value.
As women, we need to work together to promote solidarity and support each other in this crazy journey called motherhood. We need to embrace our differences and learn from one another.
What are your experiences with the Mommy Wars? Have you been in an intense debate or do you choose to stay away from them?