Friendship

Why blogging is like online dating

 

If you’re a blogger, you’ll get this post. If you’re not, it may be hard for you to understand just how much the blogging life resembles online dating.

It’s hard to compare my friendships with real life people to my blogging friends. My real life friends come with a long history. They know me well. They know my past. They laugh at my jokes even when they’re not funny. They know my family. Their husbands are friends with my husband; their kids, friends with mine. They get me.

But there’s a huge part of my life that my real life friends don’t get, despite my best efforts to try to explain it.  Blogging, and all that comes with it, becomes complicated to explain to those not involved. And at the end of the day we only have so much time to chat that I tend to leave out the not so important stuff.

The more I interact with my blogging friends, the more I turn to them in times of need. Connections are created everyday and since we are all social media gurus you know you’re guaranteed to find a friend online at any given time of the day. They’re always there for you.

BUILDING THE RELATIONSHIP

First it starts out by following each other on Twitter; chatting about common interests, blogging advice and so on. Then, if all goes well you ‘friend’ each other on Facebook. Now you know you’ve become more serious. You get a more intimate look at one another’s life. Maybe you get to see pictures of their kids, their husbands and their real life friends.

Next you’ll start chatting about your day, your job, your in-laws and your husband. But you know it’s gone to the next level when you go to them for some serious advice about serious matters and they actually help you. Provide a solution to your problem or at the very least make you feel better because they’ve provided you a shoulder to cry on.

EXCHANGING NUMBERS

So far it’s remained pretty anonymous. Sure you’re friends on Facebook, you’re in each other’s Circles and you’ve given each other Klout but it hasn’t crossed over yet to the real big stuff. It’s not totally serious until you exchange numbers. This is a big step. You don’t give out your cell phone number to just anyone right?

Now you have instant access to one another any place, any time with no dependency on the Internet. You text each other for the first time and then again a few days later (because you don’t want to seem too eager) and before you know it, their name always appears at the top of your messages window. Guess what, you’re in a relationship!

THE ONLINE RELATIONSHIP

Don’t forget that at this point you still have not met each other in real life. You know their middle name, the school they went to and the ages and birth dates of all their children, but you have not met face-to-face. You’ve now Stumbled each other more than you can remember and you’ve contributed to lowering their Alexa rank but you couldn’t necessarily pick them out of a crowd.

THE FIRST DATE

Whether it’s a planned meeting or a chance encounter, the first date is always the most exciting. It doesn’t matter whether the first meeting happens on a group date like at a blogging conference or if it’s a run in at the local grocery store. Putting a face to this online name means never turning back.

How do you greet her for the first time? Do you shake hands or is that too formal considering the relationship you’ve built. Do you hug her; after all you’ve developed strong feelings for her over the past few months. But will that scare her off?

THE AFTERGLOW

Now that you’ve met and you’ve put a face to the name and the anticipation is over what happens next? Are you friends for life? Do you plan your next get together? Where does it go from here? Is she as into you as you are to her? I guess only time will tell.

This post is dedicated to my first date, Amanda from Multi-Testing Mommy. She has so graciously allowed me to share a picture from our first meeting and this (posting a pic) is a big deal for her!  My friendship with Amanda inspired this post and though we don’t live in the same city, she’s got a friend for life in me. And yes, she lived up to and exceeded my expectations!

City Mom & Multi-Testing Mommy

And to all my blogging friends (you know who you are) thanks for always being there and for sharing this journey with me!

Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

To My Friends

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Best Friends Forever

What I’m about to tell you is a memory that is so very clear in my mind. And even though the event took place about 15 years ago, it’s still quite vivid.

It was in my high school math class and it was out in one of those portables. I think it was grade 10 and I remember the teacher asked which of us had a best friend. Of course we all raised our hands. He went on to tell us that having even one person whom you could call your best friend was truly a blessing and that we should consider ourselves lucky.

Something about this stuck with me and I’ve always kept it at the forefront of my mind. I am very fortunate when it comes to my friendships. And as we’ve grown older together and life has become more serious, they’re even more important.

Best Friends Forever

We’ve reached the age where most of us are married and having kids. We’ve all stood up for each other at weddings. We’ve said the speeches and thrown the showers. We’ve celebrated the last nights of singlehood in style and we’ve attended the first birthday parties. We’ve nursed the breakups and the disappointments. We’ve truly been there for each other through thick and thin.

Best Friends Forever

Sure, life and geography have intruded but none of that seems to wear on the relationships. We go through our ups and downs but we always come out on top. A gathering that finds us all at the table is sure to be a laugh-fest. Add some wine to the mix and it’s going to be a night of hilarity.

But tonight we did something together that we haven’t done before. We came together to support one of our own through the loss of a parent. We’re too young to be doing this. It’s too soon and sadly I know it won’t be the last.

Best Friends Forever

Sometimes life gets tough and I spend too much time in fear of that. But tonight I felt a little more at peace because there we were, getting through it together.

If the saying is true that your friends are a true reflection of the type of person you are, then I must pat myself on the back and say I’m a damn good person!

To my friends: yesterday, today and tomorrow, you’ll always have a big piece of my heart!

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