Marriage Monday

Marriage Monday: The Five Love Languages and How it Affected My Marriage

Marriage Monday

The way I view my marriage is the same way I view anything that matters to me; hard work pays off. A marriage is not something that you can neglect or expect to run itself. It takes dedication, constant care and attention.

With life being as busy as it is with children, careers, finances, extended family, friends…the list goes on, it is far too easy to take for granted the relationship that exists between the two individuals in a marriage.

Quite simply put, if you want something special and amazing, you have to work at it.

One of the ways my husband and I keep our marriage running smoothly is by attending communication counseling. At first we went regularly. Now, we go occasionally to keep things “tuned up” much like one keeps care of his/her car engine.

Through our training we have learned so much about our marriage, our unique traits and how they compliment and contrast each other’s. We have learned many strategies to keep the lines of communication open and perhaps most importantly, we’ve learned that most marital issues arise when there is a breakdown in communication.

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

The Five Love Languages

One of the tools that was recommended to us was a book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. If there is one thing that you could do today to improve and/or strengthen your relationship it would be to read this book.

My husband and I bought the Audiobook version and listened to it while doing other tasks. We found this really helpful because it is hard to make time to sit down and read an entire book but listening while doing laundry or dishes etc. was really easy to do.

WHY I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK

My husband is one of the most hands-on Dads I know; he does so much around the house for both me and Little S. He keeps our household running smoothly, does the grocery shopping, laundry, housework; the list goes on and on.

I have always been so thankful for this fact and it even caused me to feel selfish and spoiled to ask for more. You see for me, while I was so appreciative of all he does, it did not translate to me as love. It was something that troubled me for quite some time as I was left feeling like I was missing something.

After reading The Five Love Languages, it all became clear; my primary love language is Words of Affirmation while my husband’s is Acts of Service. What does this mean? To best understand it you need to read the book in its entirety but I will summarize it for you today to give you a snapshot of why I think every couple should read this book.

Imagine if you spoke English and your partner spoke French and neither understood the other’s language. Can you picture how the communication could become misunderstood and even perhaps start to breakdown? Well, our love languages work in the same way. Without identifying your individual love language (and your partner doing the same) you can’t communicate to your full potential and your relationship could suffer.

Back to my example above: because my husband’s love language is Acts of Service, he believed that he was expressing his love for me through all the things he does to care for us. Each act was done with love and affection.

And while I appreciated each act he did, it just didn’t come across as “I love you”! For me, as a Words of Affirmation speaker, I would understand phrases such as “I love you because….” or “you make me feel…” etc. as signs of love and appreciation.

On the other hand, I can best show my love for my husband by surprising him and doing the grocery shopping on a Sunday afternoon and letting him stay home and relax or do all the laundry before he gets home.

IDENTIFYING YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

The Five Languages of Love is a really easy and enjoyable read as Dr. Chapman uses real-life examples of couples he has counselled. He shares stories of marriages that were on the brink of destruction that were reconciled because of love language identification and he shares stories of other couples who are just plain happier and more fulfilled in their relationship because their “love tank” is constantly full.

You will be able to easily identify your own love language and probably that of your spouse’s after reading this book. You are then given the tools needed to start speaking your partner’s language on a daily basis. It is not an overwhelming dump of information as each language is thoroughly explained in individual chapters with a list of 10 tips to make it easier to start speaking your spouse’s language.

You will discover that you and your spouse each have a primary love language in one of the following categories:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Physical Touch
  • Quality Time

Whether your marriage is doing really well or in a state of struggle, I highly recommend this book for every couple. My husband and I have had great success with the skills we learned from reading it.

I would also recommend this book to those who are single as going into a new relationship with the knowledge of your love language identified is invaluable. Dr. Chapman obviously agrees because he has created a version of this book for singles called The Five Love Languages Singles Edition.

I hope that you find this recommendation useful for your relationship and that you enjoy a greater bond because of it.

City Mom

Marriage Monday: Couples Resort Review

Marriage Monday

A few weeks ago my husband and I were fortunate enough to visit the Couples Resort in Algonquin Park, Ontario for one fun-filled, relaxing and romantic weekend. Our adventure was so good for the mind, body and soul as well as a priceless bonding experience for our marriage.

That is why I have selected our review of the Couples Resort to include in City Mom’s first-ever Marriage Monday feature.

MARRIAGE MONDAY

On the first Monday of each month, City Mom will focus on a topic, product, service etc. that will help to contribute to the quality and health of marriages. In today’s fast-paced society it is often too easy to put all of our focus on our careers, children and social lives; we often forget to put importance on our relationship with our significant other and that can wreak havoc on the well-being of the entire family.

Marriage Monday is meant to act as a great way to start your week with an enjoyable read that can help to bring some focus to your marriage/relationship with tips, reviews and personal success stories.

Without further ado, I am thrilled to share our experience at Couples Resort.

ABOUT COUPLES RESORT

Couples Resort Algonquin Park

As the name says, this resort if focused on couples meaning that there are NO KIDS ALLOWED! How refreshing right? This resort is set just outside of the Algonquin Park gates in Whitney, Ontario. This setting provides its breathtaking views that will keep you awestruck for your entire stay.

We visited in mid-October so we had just missed the true colours of fall which apparently are beautiful. We were however able to witness our first snowfall of the season and experience some chilly temperatures which made using the in-room, wood burning fireplace all the more enticing.

There are various types of rooms to choose from at Couples Resort. We stayed in a junior suite that included one extremely comfortable king size bed, large balcony with a lake view, in room Jacuzzi tub and wood burning fireplace (all the wood you can use included).

From the moment we pulled up to the entrance, to the moment we left (sadly) we were constantly impressed. Couples Resort is rated 5 stars and it’s very obvious why.

THE ROOMS

Couples Resort Room Review

The best words I can use to describe our room are cozy and rustic which combined, create an extremely quaint and romantic setting. We loved the romance that the fireplace and Jacuzzi added as well.

Other rooms that are available include a private outdoor hot tub, Chateaus, Master Suites, Chalets, Villas with Saunas and Exotics.

No matter the type of room that you should choose, they all include the following awesome upgrades:

  • Free – Internet high speed – WIFI & Hard Wired
  • Free – Netflix Video Streaming
  • Walkout Spacious Lakeside Balcony
  • Real Wood Fireplace (with FREE firewood and firestarter, 2 candles)
  • 2 bath robes, a cosmetic mirror
  • Hair Dryer
  • Irons/Ironing Boards
  • Keurig Coffee Maker (extra charge for coffee)
  • Phones – Free long Distance
  • 2 padded Chaise Lounge Chairs – Spring, Summer and Fall
  • Large Double Relaxing Soaker Jacuzzi Tub
  • Safes
  • Alarm Clock

ACTIVITIES

Couples Resort Activities

The natural beauties of Algonquin Park provide perhaps the best “activity” possible but Couples Resort offers a wide range of activities to enjoy during your stay.  A park pass is even included in your stay.

Depending on the time of year, the activities offered vary; dog sledding in the winter and horseback riding (extra cost) during the other seasons. Guests can enjoy the free use of mountain bikes, canoes and kayaks. In the summer you can make use of the salt water pool and lakeside patio with patio chairs and in the winter you can enjoy ice skating and snowmobiling (extra cost).

There are a lot of extras included that you don’t see at regular resorts. Check out the activities list to see all the inclusions.

My husband and I had a fabulous time making use of the mountain bikes and we rode the nearby trails. We also enjoyed a fun horseback riding experience.

THE FOOD

Couples Resort Food Review

I could not stop taking pictures and raving about the food at Couples Resort. If you follow City Mom on Twitter, Facebook and/or Instagram, you were probably very aware that I was having the time of my life at Couples Resort and the food was a huge contributor to that!

First, all meals (with the exception of lunch) are included in your stay. Dinner is a first class, five course meal. The culinary team is led by Executive Chef, Ronnie Coppens and the menu is full of fresh, seasonally available Ontario produced foods. It perhaps is the number one reason why you should visit Couples Resort.

We especially enjoyed having our meals delivered to our room (free of charge). It was pure luxury dining in our room for both breakfast and dinner with the warm ambiance of our wood burning fireplace. We got to eat in our plush robes and stay in the comfort of our cozy room.

THE SERVICE

From the moment we began our stay to our time of check-out, every single interaction with the staff was exemplary. Each was helpful, friendly and kind which contributed greatly to our feeling or relaxation and enjoyment. Something to note, that tipping is included in your stay, so while you will likely feel the desire to tip, it is not promoted.

OTHER AMENTIES

With only two short days, there were many things we didn’t have time to do such as the Spa which has been awarded one of North America’s top 100 Spas. This is definitely something I want to check out on our next visit.

There is also a games room/lounge area that includes pool tables, ping-pong, shuffleboard and darts.

BOOK WITH COUPLES RESORT

Regardless of the time of year that you should choose to visit, you will absolutely love your experience at Couples Resort. There are a number of seasonal packages available so be sure to check them out.

WHY YOU SHOULD GO

Taking time out from your busy lives and spending some “adult time” is a much needed activity to do with your partner. It allows for a deeper connection and stronger bond. While it can be difficult to find sitters for the kids and finances for the trip, it is something that you will not regret and something I highly recommend making a priority for your relationship.

My husband and I came back feeling refreshed, happy and connected. This is priceless and will last a lot longer than a single weekend.

Thank you so much to John and the rest of Couples Resort staff for helping to make our weekend so amazing!

Disclaimer: I received complimentary accommodations in exchange for my review but the opinions expressed are 100% my own.

City Mom

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